The United Commonwealth of Western Linford is a massive, safe nation, ruled by Max Markington with an even hand, and remarkable for its compulsory military service, suspicion of poets, and stringent health and safety legislation. The hard-nosed population of 1.671 billion Western Linfordians are highly moralistic and fiercely conservative, in the sense that they tend to believe most things should be outlawed. People who have good jobs and work quietly at them are lauded; others are viewed with suspicion.

The medium-sized, corrupt, moralistic government juggles the competing demands of Healthcare, Education, and Defense. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Albrighton. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 33.6%.

The strong Western Linfordian economy, worth 136 trillion francs a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Information Technology industry, with major contributions from Arms Manufacturing, Furniture Restoration, and Book Publishing. Black market activity is frequent. State-owned companies are reasonably common. Average income is 81,683 francs, with the richest citizens earning 7.6 times as much as the poorest.

Major archaeological findings are frequently bulldozed to make way for new buildings, the transit system is throwing poor people under the bus, creative compliance measures ensure that high-ranking officials live in luxury while the country's coffers collect cobwebs, and dozens of additional foreign policy specialists have been sent to the country's WA Mission. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Western Linford's national animal is the parrot, which can occasionally be seen dodging aircraft in the nation's cities, and its national religion is Balism.

Western Linford is ranked 255,637^th in the world and 9,285^th in Lazarus for Most Cultured, scoring 61 on the Snufflebottom-Wiggendum Pentatonic Scale.